The Evil Queen is Sick, literally!
by Kaylaabby
Summary: Swan Queen! Regina just has the flu.. Or does she? Lots of humor.


AN: I have a lot of free time on my hands right now… lol. Here is the cliché Regina is sick and Emma takes care of her story. Enjoy! (:

It had been a week since Emma had seen Regina anywhere. If she hadn't known any better she would have thought the brunette was avoiding her. She hoped the Mayor was okay. As Emma began thinking deeper into Regina's disappearance her mind began to go to dark places. _What if she was abducted, or being tortured, or being forced to be compassionate? That one would have killed her._ Emma teasingly thought. She decided to call the mayor and see what was wrong.

Emma heard the beginning of the mayor's voicemail before ending the call. It was ten in the morning; Regina was usually up by six. _Something could really be wrong_. Emma decided to head over to the overly large mansion to check on Regina. _I doubt anything's wrong, and as soon as I go into the queen's castle she is going to light me on fire. _But she heads over anyways.

When Emma gets to the mansion she realizes that all the lights are off. Even Regina's bedroom light isn't glowing behind the white sheer curtain. _Late night?_ Emma inquires. _She might have someone in there with her._ She thinks about what she just thought and gives an audible chuckle. _The Evil Queen having a bedmate? I don't think so._

Emma heads up the long sidewalk to the white door and knocks on the door-loudly- three times. _Hopefully that will wake her up._ When she doesn't hear any movement in the house she tries to twist the door handle. _Locked. Of course. _The blonde goes to the little rock beside the welcome mat and gets the hidden key from under it.

When she steps in the house everything is dark. The only light coming in is from the sun through the curtains on her windows. Then she hears it, a very noticeable moan that obviously came from Regina. _Oh she does have somebody up in her bedroom,_ Emma's eyes get wide, _and she is doing… with someone in her bedroom… and I'm down in her kitchen listening to- _"Oh gross" Emma whines. Suddenly, the moaning stops.

"Ms. Swan? Is that you?" She hears Regina yell.

_Shit. This is so embarrassing. _

"Regina. Are you alright?" Emma yells back.

She hears the brunette chuckle then respond, "I'm quite alright."

_Ew. Of course she is alright, stupid Emma. _

Then she hears a sneeze. Then another. Then another.

_Is she having sex or having allergies? _

"Sorry to interrupt your morning rendezvous. You weren't answering the phone, I was just making sure you were okay." Emma said.

There was a pause then Regina coughed. "My morning what? Ms. Swan come here, I don't think I heard you right."

_Come here? What? She wants me to see her with a guy in her bed? Uh definitely not. _

_"_No, that's okay. I'm just gonna go now."

Then she hears Regina getting out of bed and walking toward the stairs.

_Even without the heels she still manages to make her presence known. _Emma scoffed.

"Hello Ms. Swan." Emma notices that Regina's voice sounds stuffy.

When her eyes adjust to Regina's figure in the dark she can see that the brunette is wearing a purple silk robe, she doesn't have any make up on, and she has crazy bed hair.

_That's hot._

"Hey Regina" She dragged out the a; awkwardly.

"I can assure you that I am not rendezvousing. I am sick you moron.

"Oh, yeah that was my second guess."

_Oh thank God!_

"Well now that you're curiosity is vanquished. I'm going to lay back down." Regina turns to leave but Emma stops her.

"Regina, wait. Do you need anything?"

After the mayor subtlety rolls her eyes she replies, "I am capable of handling a minor cold sheriff, you may leave now."

"Come on Regina, just because I'm offering to help doesn't mean I think you can't do it, it's a courtesy."

Regina can hear the annoyance in Emma's voice but decides to push it a little further, "How courteous of you, Ms. Swan. You do take after you're charming father."

_Just take my help lady!_

"You know what Regina? I'll be back with chicken noodle soup and some movies. Because all you probably have is boring documentaries. See you in twenty minutes."

"Potato" Regina yells just as Emma is walking out the door. "I like cheesy potato bacon soup."

"Potato soup it is."

With that, Emma leaves.

In exactly twenty minutes Emma enters Regina's bedroom with a tray of potato soup and Orange is the New Black season one dvd.

"Did you forget how to knock, Ms. Swan?" Regina scoffs.

Emma puts the tray down on Regina's beside table then walks back to the door and knocks.

"Smart ass" Regina mutters.

"So what's wrong with you?" Emma asks after Regina finished her soup.

"I'm not sure."

"Well have you checked your body temperature?"

"No, but I don't feel warm. It's just hard to walk and I'm coughing a lot."

"Where's your thermometer?"

Regina points to her bedside table and starts to get up, "I'll get it."

Emma ignores her and begins to open the drawer only for it to be slammed shut.

"Ms. Swan," Regina yells, "what part of 'I'll get it' confuses you?"

_Why is she so mad? What's in that drawer besides a thermometer? _

"Sorry, I was just trying to help."

Regina look a little shocked that Emma didn't argue back, but quickly opens the drawer and grabs the thermometer while Emma isn't looking.

"Its quite alright, dear. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Emma takes the thermometer from Regina and puts it in the queen's mouth. After about a minute she takes it out. "One hundred and nine? Regina you're burning up!"

"Really? It doesn't feel like it." Regina's face contorts showing she is confused.

"You need a shower right now." Emma tugs Regina out the bed.

"Ms. Swan, I don't think-"

"What?" Emma interrupts.

Regina's face goes a light shade of red as she finishes her sentence, "I don't think I can do it. I'm very tired and it's getting harder to move."

_I would happily help her take a shower. Does she need someone to wash her back too? No Emma stop. You cannot take advantage of this situation, she is sick! Get yourself together woman._

"I-I'll help you." Emma says.

"Ms. Swan, I know we are being friendly right now, but you seeing me naked crosses every line there is!" Regina refuses.

"Don't worry your majesty; I'll close my eyes." Emma attempts and eye roll.

Regina thinks over it for a second then agrees. "Okay, but promise your eyes will be closed! And I only need help undressing and getting in. I'll take a bath."

"Lead the way, your highness." Emma dramatically lifts her hands for Regina to pass her.


End file.
